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Signs of Domestic Violence

Signs of Abuse/Red Flags

Do you… 

  • Feel afraid of your partner?
  • Feel that you can’t do anything right?
  • Get embarrassed by your partner’s behavior toward you?
  • Believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
  • Avoid topics or situations out of fear of angering your partner?

Does your partner…

  • Humiliate, criticize or yell at you?
  • Blame you for his/her behavior?
  • Threaten to hurt you?
  • Threaten to take your children away?
  • Threaten to harm your children or pets?
  • Force you to have sex?
  • Act jealous or possessive?
  • Keep you from seeing friends and family?
  • Limit your access to money or necessities?
  • Keep you from getting a job or going to school?
  • Constantly check up on you?
  • Threaten to kill or hurt him/herself if you leave?

Does your friend or loved one…

  • Have frequent injuries resulting from “accidents”?
  • Frequently or suddenly miss work, school or cancel plans?
  • Receive frequent calls/texts from their partner?
  • Fear their partner or defer to a partner’s rages or behavior?
  • Lack assertiveness or have submissive behavior?
  • Isolate from friends and family?
  • Have insufficient resources to live (money, credit cards, car)?

How to Help

Most often, a survivor of domestic violence or dating violence will seek help from their support network, including friends, family or co-workers. The manner in which you respond can have a power affect on the survivor’s life and decision to seek further help. Remember, you cannot force someone to leave their abuser. While you can help someone leave a violent relationship, it is ultimately his/her choice to change his/her life and future. Please recognize that the decision to leave an abusive relationship is not easy and the survivor will need your love and support to do so.

If a survivor reaches out to you…

  • Try to remain supportive and non-judgmental
  • Let them know you believe them and want to hear about their experience
  • Allow them to tell their story
  • Let them know you care about and are concerned for their safety
  • Support their right to be angry
  • Don’t deny any of their feelings
  • Respect the cultural values and beliefs that affect their behavior
  • Help them assess their resources and support system
  • Maintain contact with them. Physical and psychological isolation are powerful control tactics used by batterers.
  • Avoid “you” statements, such as “you should”. Instead use “I” statements, such as “I’m concerned.”
  • Offer them phone numbers for local resources. Call Hope’s Door’s  24-hour hotline (972-422-7233) for information on our services and local resources.
  • Let them know that they are not alone, it is not their fault and that help is available.